Dazed
Rain washes away most things, but even floodwaters can't wash away pain. Nevertheless here I am sitting on this old wooden bench, in the rain.
Each drop hitting the muddied puddles near my feet splashes me with tiny droplets of mud, but I don't care. If people could see all the mud inside me they'd never notice it on the outside, they never look anyway.
Peculiar, isn't it? The way love has two lovers blind to all but each other, like those two sheltering under the tree a few meters ahead of me. Blissfully unaware of the melancholy girl watching on.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice startles me, “Mind if I sit here?”
Standing in front of me is the most handsome man I have ever seen, and my mind is blank. For the first time in my life I can't think of anything to say.
“Oh! Uh…” think girl think! Those eyes are so distracting… no! This isn't like me! My chest feels like it's going to explode...
“Um, sorry to have disturbed you…” He’s turning away, quick!
“Wait!” I blurt out. He turns towards me again.
“Um, please sit. I mean, I don't mind if you sit here. You can sit here.” I give the spot next to me a quick pat and smile nervously. I can feel my cheeks burning and I'm almost certain he can hear my heart pounding in my chest. Oh, he must think me such a fool!
He chuckles, “Thanks, I almost thought you would run away from me for a second there!” He sits down next to me and his umbrella is just large enough to cover us both.
“I'm Gabriel, nice to meet you.” He extends his hand to me.
“Carmen,” I shake his hand hoping he didn't notice mine shaking even before it met his, “nice to meet you, too.” Funny, I never noticed how interesting the ground was before. The ground doesn't make me blush, doesn't make my heart leap out into a stranger’s hands. The ground is safe to rest my eyes on.
“So, uh, do you live around here?” I look up and those piercing eyes make me forget everything. What did he say? Live? Where do I live?
“Oh me? Nah I just came down for a wedding.” I say tucking some stray hair behind my ear.
“Your wedding?”
“Oh goodness no! No it wasn't my wedding… I'm not married,” -my cheeks must be fire engine red by now- “I'm practically as single as this bench!” I hate myself. As single as this bench?! What was I thinking!
He chuckles, “Well, this rain isn't getting any lighter. What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting all alone in the rain?”
Why have I got the giggles? I thought I was above this…
“Pretty! Um, thanks,” -I never imagined I could turn this red- “I was just, you know, enjoying the view.” Lies! You were having a full blown pity party! Ok, be nice to yourself - stop talking to yourself! How does one become normal?!
Another chuckle, “What do you say to a walk? Interested in a coffee? My shout.” Hold up, is he asking me out? No, no play it cool Carmen. Play it cool…
“Sure, sounds great!” I smile at him, staring into those oh so distracting eyes…
Our hands touch a second time, but this time he's helping me up and pulling me under his umbrella. I avoid the puddles in fear of splashing him as we walk down the path.
The sun is tipping past the middle of the sky and I hope he can't hear my stomach rumbling.
“Um, actually,” I pause mid step, “could we get lunch? I'm kinda hungry.” I smile and he smiles back.
“I don't see why not. In fact, I know a great place just around the corner. If we go through those trees there we'll make it in no time.” I'm not sure if we should go off the path, but his smile is persuasive and his eyes are so dreamy… I guess there's no harm in taking a short cut. He seems nice. He leads me off the path and puts down his umbrella as we run together through the trees holding hands.
“Hey Carmen,” he stops running and shoves me against a tree catching me by surprise. I feel my skin tear against the bark as he pins me down.
“Did no one ever tell you to be cautious of strangers?”
For the second time today I can't think of anything to say. My mind is blank. I have to scream, I know I have to get help but I'm frozen. I've heard of this happening but I never thought it'd actually happen to me! The ground begins to swirl beneath me. I think I'm going to faint.
I think I'm going to…
Each drop hitting the muddied puddles near my feet splashes me with tiny droplets of mud, but I don't care. If people could see all the mud inside me they'd never notice it on the outside, they never look anyway.
Peculiar, isn't it? The way love has two lovers blind to all but each other, like those two sheltering under the tree a few meters ahead of me. Blissfully unaware of the melancholy girl watching on.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice startles me, “Mind if I sit here?”
Standing in front of me is the most handsome man I have ever seen, and my mind is blank. For the first time in my life I can't think of anything to say.
“Oh! Uh…” think girl think! Those eyes are so distracting… no! This isn't like me! My chest feels like it's going to explode...
“Um, sorry to have disturbed you…” He’s turning away, quick!
“Wait!” I blurt out. He turns towards me again.
“Um, please sit. I mean, I don't mind if you sit here. You can sit here.” I give the spot next to me a quick pat and smile nervously. I can feel my cheeks burning and I'm almost certain he can hear my heart pounding in my chest. Oh, he must think me such a fool!
He chuckles, “Thanks, I almost thought you would run away from me for a second there!” He sits down next to me and his umbrella is just large enough to cover us both.
“I'm Gabriel, nice to meet you.” He extends his hand to me.
“Carmen,” I shake his hand hoping he didn't notice mine shaking even before it met his, “nice to meet you, too.” Funny, I never noticed how interesting the ground was before. The ground doesn't make me blush, doesn't make my heart leap out into a stranger’s hands. The ground is safe to rest my eyes on.
“So, uh, do you live around here?” I look up and those piercing eyes make me forget everything. What did he say? Live? Where do I live?
“Oh me? Nah I just came down for a wedding.” I say tucking some stray hair behind my ear.
“Your wedding?”
“Oh goodness no! No it wasn't my wedding… I'm not married,” -my cheeks must be fire engine red by now- “I'm practically as single as this bench!” I hate myself. As single as this bench?! What was I thinking!
He chuckles, “Well, this rain isn't getting any lighter. What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting all alone in the rain?”
Why have I got the giggles? I thought I was above this…
“Pretty! Um, thanks,” -I never imagined I could turn this red- “I was just, you know, enjoying the view.” Lies! You were having a full blown pity party! Ok, be nice to yourself - stop talking to yourself! How does one become normal?!
Another chuckle, “What do you say to a walk? Interested in a coffee? My shout.” Hold up, is he asking me out? No, no play it cool Carmen. Play it cool…
“Sure, sounds great!” I smile at him, staring into those oh so distracting eyes…
Our hands touch a second time, but this time he's helping me up and pulling me under his umbrella. I avoid the puddles in fear of splashing him as we walk down the path.
The sun is tipping past the middle of the sky and I hope he can't hear my stomach rumbling.
“Um, actually,” I pause mid step, “could we get lunch? I'm kinda hungry.” I smile and he smiles back.
“I don't see why not. In fact, I know a great place just around the corner. If we go through those trees there we'll make it in no time.” I'm not sure if we should go off the path, but his smile is persuasive and his eyes are so dreamy… I guess there's no harm in taking a short cut. He seems nice. He leads me off the path and puts down his umbrella as we run together through the trees holding hands.
“Hey Carmen,” he stops running and shoves me against a tree catching me by surprise. I feel my skin tear against the bark as he pins me down.
“Did no one ever tell you to be cautious of strangers?”
For the second time today I can't think of anything to say. My mind is blank. I have to scream, I know I have to get help but I'm frozen. I've heard of this happening but I never thought it'd actually happen to me! The ground begins to swirl beneath me. I think I'm going to faint.
I think I'm going to…
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