Be ready to cringe.
  • What's the sleepiest mountain? Mount Everest. 
  • A person was in an elevator. There was a burger in the elevator. The person told this to their friend, and the friend was like, "Taking lunch to the next level!
  • Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. 
  • The life of a coffee bean: 1. Still green at this. 2. Bean there, done that. 3. Has-bean. 
  • A person was chatting with their friend online while eating cheese. Talking to them, they said, 'This cheese is very cheesy,' and their friend said 'That pun was so cheesy!' 
  • Boss: 'How good are you at PowerPoint?' Me: 'I Excel at it.' Boss: 'Was that a Microsoft Office pun?' Me: 'Word.' 
  • I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something. 
  • You're living. You occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter!
  • The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 
  • Potterheads having a conversation: "My obsession with Harry Potter has gotten a bit riddikulus" "It's a sirius problem" "There's nothing ron with that" "Keep up with these puns and you might be muggled" "Too bad cause we're neville gonna stop" 
  • The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house. 
  • I know this is cheesy, but I feel grate. 
  • You butter do what I say or I shall assault you. (salt)
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down. 
  • Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.  
  • It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. 
  • What does a house wear? A dress.
  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired. 
  • Wanna go on a picnic to the farm? Alpaca lunch. 
  • I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. 
  • What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear. 
  • I break into song if I can't find the key. 
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. 
  • I'd make a veggie joke, but no one would carrot all. 
  • If you spend your day in a well, can you say your day was well spent? 
  • I was going to tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH. <--- And that one's great for Mrs Wright, cause she's all-right with science. (with honour to Mrs Wright, 09WGT) 
  •  Jokes about unemployed people are not funny, they just don't work. 
  • What do you call a laughing person who loves candy? Lol-lipop.
  • What happened when Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar? Well, it was tense. 
  • What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Cat: Claws at the end of paws. Comma: Pause at the end of a clause. 
  • Why do words, phrases, and punctuation keep ending up in court? Cause they have to be sentenced. 
  • Why did Shakespeare only write in pen? Because pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B? 



Popular posts from this blog

Enthusiastic English department gain access to polyjuice potions

All about me!

Interview with ex-MAGS student